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<\/p>\nSome myths abound around the subject men-and-emotions.
\nOne is about the traditional presence of male stoicism, which developed for arbitrary, superfluous, misunderstood reasons. In fact, the ability to keep a stiff face was necessary for men to fulfill their universal roles of fighters and protectors – hunters and warriors. A man who could not hold himself in the face of a threat became a burden for himself and others. As hard as it may seem to those living in privilege and peace today, no man wants to be that way and no one wants that guy in their team.<\/p>\n
A second myth is that men have always been taught to embody this kind of emotional stoicism, in regards to everything. The truth is that while emotional control was indeed universally expected of men in tactical situations, in many cultures, men were free to be emotionally expressive in less agitated scenarios. Stoicism was a strategic tool, a mask that men put on when it was needed and was eliminated when it was no longer necessary.<\/p>\n
A third myth about men and emotions is that, through the feminist movement, men have finally managed to open up – from this perspective, men, they say, have become more and more expressive over time, with the expression of male emotion moving on a constantly progressive scale, up to this day. However, this view is incorrect and non-historical.<\/p>\n
While it is true that modern men are more emotionally expressive than 20th century men (the closest and most important term of comparison), they are somehow less liberated than men who lived in more distant times.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
In antiquity, even the most heroic figures were some hopeless winers: Odysseus cries about longing for home, for loved ones and for fallen friends; the great warriors of Beowulf and of the Heike Family Story are crying both because of great spiritual questions and because of the death of their comrades; the writers of the Christian gospels saw no contradiction in the painting of their savior, both as a powerful king and as a passionate complainant. And it was not just the pain, what these ancient figures felt free to express, but also their other passions. Achilles, for example, controls his anger and quietly continues his journey through the Iliad. Men from all cultures of traditional honor were actually so sensitive, so upset, that a simple insult could lead to a duel to death.<\/p>\n
Indeed, male emotionality did not progress linearly, but increased and decreased according to period and culture. These fluctuations in particular follow the degree to which uncertainty is present in a society. When the social norms and expectations are unclear, the terrain is uncertain, the rules of the game are not understood, and life seems generally chaotic, people feel more vulnerable. Expressing emotions in these times seems risky and as a result, it seems safer to withdraw from the storm outside, into the “inner city”.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
If this model were correct, if we could get the emotions out of the equation altogether, our decision-making capabilities would be almost perfect. However, research shows that what actually happens when you remove emotions from judgment, is that people have difficulty making any kind of decisions.
\nPeople with severe emotional deficiencies (due to stroke, tumor, or other injury) suffer greatly because they cannot make rational decisions, despite the fact that their other “cognitive” faculties (in other words, what it is usually called “intelligence”) seem to work well. They can calculate the consequences and compare the options, but because they don’t care about the consequences or the options, they have no basis to make a decision.
\nEmotions make our judgments less logical but more meaningful. Is your wife just an ordinary female member or the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world? Is your baby just a sack of neurons and nerves, or a source of joy, the best thing you’ve ever created?<\/p>\n
Emotions can sometimes be unreasonable (just as stoic principles can sometimes be the right tool for managing them). But emotions, even “negative” ones such as anger, can also be perfectly rational and even strategic. Indeed, the irony of the fact that confidence in emotions decreases in moments of uncertainty, is that the best way to navigate such a landscape is to embrace them, rather than withdraw from them.
\nGiven our own uncertain and chaotic times, we are not surprisingly in one of the periodic declines of history in expressing emotions. The strange paradox of our time is that while we make the unverified assumption that today’s men are more emotionally liberated than ever, both men and women have simultaneously developed a deep skepticism of the value of emotions in general. It is fashionable to say that feelings do not matter, do not count, that we should even reject them. Young prudents do not want to be “sick from feelings”. Without the ability to control external events, we are increasingly focusing on managing our inner life. Cynical and exhausted, we have become “breastless people”.
\nDismissing the opinion about the irrational essence of emotions and revealing their undeclared intelligence and value is the place we will return next time.<\/p>\n
RO<\/strong><\/span> C\u00e2teva mituri abund\u0103 \u00een jurul subiectului b\u0103rba\u021bi-\u0219i-emo\u021bii. Un al doilea mit este c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii au fost \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba\u021bi \u00eentotdeauna s\u0103 \u00eentruchipeze acest tip de stoicism emo\u021bional, fa\u021b\u0103 de orice. Adev\u0103rul este c\u0103, \u00een timp ce controlul emo\u021bional era \u00eentr-adev\u0103r universal a\u0219teptat de la b\u0103rba\u021bi \u00een situa\u021bii tactice, \u00een multe culturi, b\u0103rba\u021bii aveau libertatea de a fi expresivi emo\u021bional \u00een scenarii mai pu\u021bin agitate. Stoicismul a fost un instrument strategic, o masc\u0103 pe care b\u0103rba\u021bii au pus-o atunci c\u00e2nd a fost nevoie \u0219i a fost eliminat\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd nu a mai fost necesar\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n Un al treilea mit referitor la b\u0103rba\u021bi \u0219i emo\u021bii este acela c\u0103, prin intermediul mi\u0219c\u0103rii feministe, b\u0103rba\u021bii au reu\u0219it \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it s\u0103 se deschid\u0103 – din aceast\u0103 perspectiv\u0103, b\u0103rba\u021bii cic\u0103 au devenit din ce \u00een ce mai expresivi \u00een timp, cu eliberarea emo\u021biei masculine mi\u0219c\u00e2ndu-se pe o curb\u0103 constant progresiv\u0103, p\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een zilele noastre. Aceast\u0103 viziune este \u00eens\u0103 incorect\u0103 \u0219i ne-istoric\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n De\u0219i este adev\u0103rat c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii moderni sunt mai expresivi din punct de vedere emo\u021bional dec\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u021bii secolului XX (cel mai apropiat \u0219i cel mai important punct de compara\u021bie) ei sunt, \u00eentr-un fel, mai pu\u021bin elibera\u021bi dec\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u021bii care au tr\u0103it \u00een perioade mai \u00eendep\u0103rtate.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00cen antichitate, chiar \u0219i cele mai eroice figuri au fost ni\u0219te pl\u00e2ng\u0103cio\u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 re\u021binere: Odiseu pl\u00e2nge de dor de cas\u0103, de cei dragi \u0219i pentru prieteni c\u0103zu\u021bi; marii r\u0103zboinici din Beowulf<\/strong> <\/em>\u0219i din Povestea familiei Heike<\/strong> <\/em>pl\u00e2ng \u00een hohote at\u00e2t din cauza unor mari \u00eentreb\u0103ri spirituale, c\u00e2t \u0219i pentru moartea camarazilor; scriitorii evangheliilor cre\u0219tine nu au v\u0103zut nicio contradic\u021bie \u00een zugr\u0103virea salvatorului lor, at\u00e2t ca rege puternic, c\u00e2t \u0219i ca pl\u00e2ng\u0103tor p\u0103tima\u0219. \u0218i nu a fost doar durerea, ceea ce aceste figuri antice s-au sim\u021bit libere s\u0103 exprime, dar \u0219i celelalte pasiuni ale lor. Ahile, de exemplu, \u00ee\u0219i st\u0103p\u00e2ne\u0219te furia \u0219i continu\u0103 \u00een t\u0103cere drumul prin Iliada. B\u0103rba\u021bii din toate culturile onoarei tradi\u021bionale erau de fapt at\u00e2t de sensibili, at\u00e2t de sup\u0103r\u0103cio\u0219i, \u00eenc\u00e2t o simpl\u0103 insult\u0103 putea duce la un duel p\u00e2n\u0103 la moarte.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00centr-adev\u0103r, emo\u021bionalitatea masculin\u0103 nu a avansat \u00een mod liniar, ci a crescut \u0219i a sc\u0103zut \u00een func\u021bie de perioad\u0103 \u0219i cultur\u0103. Aceste fluctua\u021bii urm\u0103resc \u00een special gradul \u00een care incertitudinea este prezent\u0103 \u00eentr-o societate. C\u00e2nd normele sociale \u0219i a\u0219tept\u0103rile sunt neclare, terenul e nesigur, regulile jocului nu sunt \u00een\u021belese, iar via\u021ba pare, \u00een general, haotic\u0103, oamenii se simt mai vulnerabili. Exprimarea emo\u021biilor \u00een aceste vremuri pare riscant\u0103 \u0219i, ca urmare, pare mai sigur s\u0103 te retragi din furtuna de afar\u0103, \u00een \u201ecetatea interioar\u0103\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n Dac\u0103 acest model ar fi corect, dac\u0103 am putea scoate emo\u021biile din ecua\u021bie cu totul, capacit\u0103\u021bile noastre de luare a deciziilor ar fi aproape perfecte. Cu toate acestea, cercet\u0103rile arat\u0103 c\u0103 ceea ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 de fapt atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eendep\u0103rtezi emo\u021biile din judecat\u0103, este c\u0103 oamenii au dificult\u0103\u021bi \u00een a lua orice fel de decizii. Emo\u021biile pot fi uneori nerezonabile (la fel cum principiile stoice pot fi uneori instrumentul potrivit pentru gestionarea lor).<\/span> Dar emo\u021biile, chiar \u0219i cele \u201enegative\u201d precum furia, pot fi, de asemenea, perfect ra\u021bionale \u0219i chiar strategice.<\/span> \u00centr-adev\u0103r, ironia faptului c\u0103 \u00eencrederea \u00een emo\u021bii scade \u00een momentele de incertitudine, este c\u0103 cea mai bun\u0103 metod\u0103 de a naviga \u00eentr-un astfel de peisaj este s\u0103 le \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219ezi, mai degrab\u0103 dec\u00e2t s\u0103 te retragi din ele. Some myths abound around the subject men-and-emotions. One is about the traditional presence of male stoicism, which developed for arbitrary,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2202,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-8"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/racov.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/mituri-barbati.jpg?fit=360%2C350&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p75FkB-wZ","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2045"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2367,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045\/revisions\/2367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/racov.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nMituri despre b\u0103rba\u021bi \u0219i emo\u021bii<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n
\n<\/span>Unul este despre calitatea tradi\u021bional\u0103 a stoicismului masculin, care s-a dezvoltat din motive arbitrare, de prisos, ne\u00een\u021belese. \u00cen realitate, abilitatea de a p\u0103stra o fa\u021b\u0103 \u00eempietrit\u0103 era necesar\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bilor pentru a-\u0219i \u00eendeplini rolurile universale de lupt\u0103tori \u0219i protectori – v\u00e2n\u0103tori \u0219i r\u0103zboinici. Un b\u0103rbat care nu se putea aduna fa\u021ba unei amenin\u021b\u0103ri, devenea o povar\u0103 pentru el \u0219i pentru ceilal\u021bi. A\u0219a greu, cum li se poate p\u0103rea azi celor care tr\u0103iesc \u00een privilegiu \u0219i pace, niciun b\u0103rbat nu vrea s\u0103 fie astfel \u0219i nimeni nu-l dore\u0219te pe acel tip din echipa lor.<\/p>\n
\nOamenii cu deficien\u021be emo\u021bionale severe (din cauza unui accident vascular cerebral, a unei tumori sau a altor leziuni) sufer\u0103 enorm din cauz\u0103 c\u0103 nu pot lua decizii ra\u021bionale, \u00een ciuda faptului c\u0103 celelalte facult\u0103\u021bi \u201ecognitive\u201d ale acestora (cu alte cuvinte, ceea ce se nume\u0219te de obicei \u201einteligen\u021b\u0103\u201d) par s\u0103 func\u021bioneze bine. Ei pot calcula consecin\u021bele \u0219i compara op\u021biunile, dar pentru c\u0103 nu le pas\u0103 nici de consecin\u021be, nici de op\u021biuni, nu au nici o baz\u0103 pentru a lua o decizie.
\nEmo\u021biile fac judec\u0103\u021bile noastre mai pu\u021bin logice dar mai semnificative. So\u021bia ta este doar un membru obi\u0219nuit al sexului feminin sau cea mai uimitoare \u0219i frumoas\u0103 femeie din lume? Este copilul t\u0103u doar un sac de neuroni \u0219i nervi, sau o surs\u0103 de bucurie, cel mai bun lucru pe care l-ai creat vreodat\u0103?<\/p>\n
\n<\/span><\/span>Av\u00e2nd \u00een vedere propria noastr\u0103 epoc\u0103 incert\u0103 \u0219i haotic\u0103, ne afl\u0103m \u00een mod ne-surprinz\u0103tor \u00eentr-unul dintre declinurile periodice ale istoriei \u00een exprimarea emo\u021biilor. Ciudatul paradox al timpului nostru este c\u0103, \u00een timp ce facem presupunerea neverificat\u0103 c\u0103 b\u0103rba\u021bii de ast\u0103zi sunt mai elibera\u021bi emo\u021bional ca niciodat\u0103, at\u00e2t b\u0103rba\u021bii, c\u00e2t \u0219i femeile au dezvoltat simultan un scepticism profund al valorii emo\u021biilor \u00een general. Este la mod\u0103 s\u0103 spunem c\u0103 sentimentele nu conteaz\u0103, nu se pun, c\u0103 ar trebui chiar s\u0103 le reject\u0103m. Tinerii pruden\u021bi nu vor s\u0103 se “\u00eemboln\u0103veasc\u0103 de sentimente\u201d. <\/span>\u00cen lipsa abilit\u0103\u021bii de a controla evenimentele externe, ne concentr\u0103m tot mai mult pe gestionarea vie\u021bii noastre interne. Cinici \u0219i epuiza\u021bi, am devenit \u201eoameni f\u0103r\u0103 piept\u201d.
\n<\/span>Desfiin\u021barea p\u0103rerii despre esen\u021ba ira\u021bional\u0103 a emo\u021biilor \u0219i dezvelirea inteligen\u021bei \u0219i valorii lor nedeclarate, este locul \u00een care ne vom \u00eentoarce data viitoare.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"